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Say it Ain’t So 💁🏽‍♀️

When it comes to relationships, have you ever considered that you may be your own worst enemy? That maybe you have received everything you’ve been asking for but you are not okay with or where you want to be personally to notice it? Maybe you’re the one that’s sabotaging your relationships?! 🤔

One thing that I’ve come to grasp with lately is recognizing that I’m a humanly flawed woman….and that’s okay. However, I’ve also learned that the things I ask for and should be great fun for from a man, they slowly been revealing themselves to me, but it’s still not enough!

With that being said, I decided to have a conversation with a close friend, who’s by default become something like my life coach 😎, and she pointed a few things out, but one thing she said stuck out! She told me, you have to learn to be receptive of the things that people love about you and don’t make them feel bad for wanting love you, love on you, or whatever it is that the like you for. We often overlook the small, important things that we’ve asked for and gained within a relationship simply because we focus so much on the other things that are still yet to come. 

It often seems that things are easier when your situation/relationships aren’t flowing right because you don’t have to fight for it or put in the extra effort or get feelings involved…..yet the objective of the game is still the same, to love and be loved. But you can’t love anyone else on any level until you’ve learned to love yourself. 

All is all, I think what I’m trying to say is that sometimes we have to do a reality check on ourselves in order to move forward and appreciate the pieces of someone else that they are trying to offer to you!
Happy Wednesday y’all! 😘

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life · Uncategorized

Opinions….everyone has one!

With any and everything in life, we all have an opinion about something, be it in agreement, disagreement, or neutral….but at what point is it necessary to keep our opinions to ourselves.

I don’t think that most of us realize how much our opinions cause us to seem jealous, or unsupportive, or even make us come across as a complete hater even though that may not have been your intent.

I for one, can’t lie (my facial expressions tell all) and am sometimes very blunt and brutally honest and therefore had to learn to monitor the opinions that I choose to share, even when being asked my opinion on something. Not everyone is receptive to everything, and depending on whom you share your opinions to and depending on who/what it is about, you can come across as very judgmental and the comments can be taken the wrong way.

After a series of events from the beginning of 2017, I have learned to just mind my own damn business (in my Kevin Hart voice) 😂😂😂!! Even when you think that you are just sharing how you feel about certain things, you can’t control how others receive what you’re saying, or how they replay your thoughts to others when your name comes up in their outside conversations. My opinions about others relationships, they don’t exist anymore. My opinions about others’ kids….they don’t exist anymore. My opinion about others’ relationships with their family, they don’t exist anymore…….well at least not that anyone else would know.

No one can tell you what to think or how to feel about most things, and you definitely have the right to form your own opinion about any and everything, but just know that though you may THINK you are trying to help someone, sometimes keeping your opinion to yourself is the safest thing to do. 😉

Thanks for reading my rant, but it has been something on my mind for the last week or so and I just wanted to share it with someone else!! LOL…..Ciao Bella 💋

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Infatuation of the Fictional Reality! 🤔


I mean, don’t we all have drama in our lives these days? What makes theirs so much more entertaining than ours? Is it simply because of who they are? The social circles they hang in? Or is it simply the lifestyle they live? 🤷🏾‍♀️ I just think that it’s amazing how in depth we get with the line up of these shows…..but don’t invest 10 minutes into our own realities. 

We will readjust our whole lives to watch these reality tv shows, but won’t spend 20 minutes reading something of quality or informative to stimulate our minds. Just think how much different many of our mindsets would be if for every hour that we spend watching reality tv, we picked up a book or newspaper and was abreast as to what was going on in the world. Or to self teach ourselves how to do something other than gossip…..hell or to just think and reflect. 

Reality tv has so many people’s (young Black women) minds messed up about truths of reality! I’m used to the saying, “what happens in this house, stays in this house!” We’re being taught that it’s okay to be an asshole if you’ve got a little bit of money, and that it’s okay to be a little bit messy to keep the tea flowing….or that a phat ass, or no ass if you’re in Orange County, will be your meal ticket to financial stability! 

Moral of my post today is: read a book, watch a documentary, hell just stimulate your mind with something other than reality tv. #thiscantbelife

life · Relationships · Uncategorized

Blasts From the Past…..

People always tell say, “he/she’s and ex for a reason,” or “he/she’s in your past for a reason, so just leave them there…” but is that always necessarily true? Do you ever wonder what things may have been like if you had dated some of your exes at the stage you are in your life now; or are you completely sure that they are in your past for a reason? What if you had waited…..

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The reason that this topic came about is that recently it seems like various people from my past are popping back up and they are coming at me full force. Meanwhile, I am just sitting here thinking to myself….BRUH!! This can’t be life. I mean just when I had come to terms that maybe being single is what I am meant to be, or I need to continue to work on myself, by myself….they come knocking on the door like, oh hell nah lil baby! We’re about to work on us! All I want to do is be great.

Funny thing is, I’m not the only person that this is happening to right now. Is it a Blast From the Past epidemic right now. But we are all asking ourselves the same questions, is it worth it now since it didn’t work in the past? I’m a firm believer that timing is everything….but to what extent should you reconsider a fling/ex from your past? I honestly believe that people do change over time. I can guarantee that I am not the same Tequila at 32 that I was as 22 or even 26, so I try to consider those things.

But the bigger question at hand for me is, what is your motive? What is your intent for me, you, us at this time? Are you coming back around because you’re bored? Are you back because you think you made a mistake and are ready to admit to the mistakes of the past? Or are you just simply looking for something to do for the time being? Why after 6+ years did you decide to reach out to “make things right” or “try us again”? Blast From the Past….what do you want from me? Why now?

…..is it even worth the effort? This is the only question lingering in my mind at this point. But I’ll allow you to show me who you are today, and show me if my past decisions were the right decision…or if today is another mistake waiting to happen!

life · Relationships · Uncategorized

The ‘ships of Life!

Whether we see it or not, our lives are made up of relationships of many faces. We are involved in relationships with our spouses/significant others, friends, co-workers, family members, and even our enemies. But nonetheless, one thing remains consistent they all call for effort, nurturing, and most importantly COMMUNICATION.

Let’s just be honest for a second. How many times have we made a post on social media or sent a text message and the person on the receiving end completely missed the point of what we were intending it to mean or someone created their own assumption which had nothing to do with nothing and it became something much bigger than what we intended? Quite often right? LOL! It’s just proof that communication is key.

Communication comes in many forms. Verbal, written, physical, even unspoken. But equally important is tone.  Knowing how to effectively communicate has been something that I have personally have not really struggled with, but have had to learn how to do better. I’ve learned that sometimes people tell you what’s going on with them or how they feel without actually TELLING you directly. But I have also learned that my reaction is also equally as important in the communication process.

I have lost many friendships due to communication problems, but have been able to fix and mend quite a few through the effort of communicating. So much can be lost and equally gained when we learn how to effectively speak to each other.

Promise to do better! Just a random thought for the day.

 

life

Kids & Privilege 🤔

**DISCLAIMER: This point of view is coming from a person who does NOT have kids of her own. However, I’ve had a big help in my nephews!**

Okay, let’s cut straight to the point. I think a lot of parents are raising future hellraisers in society. I remember growing up, I wouldn’t dare fix my lips to talk back nor swear at my mother. I feared for losing my life if I was to raise my hand at my mother. Bringing home mediocre grades was completely unacceptable in Katrina’s household. And after all of that, thought I was going to still be rewarded! Haaaaa! WRONG! 

To be honest, the woman is head of the household, and her kids are a strong reflection of who she is. If I was at school, the mall, the grocery store….wherever, if I showed my ass, my mom would do the same. Boy I swear, these days, these kids don’t know half the struggle! I hear about and see so many friends, family, and associates kids that are just outright disrespectful and the parents can’t…and in a lot of cases, don’t care enough to do anything about it. If I were these women, I’d be embarrassed. However, as I’ve said in the beginning, I’m also not a parent. 

But here’s my thing, when was being one of Bebe’s Kids supposed to be rewarding? These kids don’t get punished anymore. Everyone is scared to go to jail for whooping ass…..don’t beat them, just instill some fear. Especially in prime ages of like 11-16. You still have a chance. So many parents are depending on technology and TV to raise their kids because many of us are too lazy to do constructive things with the kids to keep them on the straight and narrow. 

All I want to know is where did being your child’s friend vs parent become okay?! As adults, we’re buying kids respect and bribing them to act accordingly in public settings….WTF?! What are your thoughts on this?!

Relationships · Uncategorized

Monogamy…or nah?

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Monogamy:

1: the state or practice of being married to only one person at a time
2: the state or practice of having only one sexual partner during a period of time
It seems these days that most either don’t know what this word means, or just don’t care. It’s like no one values relationships nor marriages anymore in this day and age. What’s even funnier is the amount of people that are actually okay with the idea of being someone’s side piece. 
I mean I think we’ve all had our IDGAF moments in life, but at what age do you grow up and gain some type of morals and begin to respect yourself a little more? I know that I personally went through an extended phase in life where I KNEW that relationships weren’t for me, and I made sure that I let every guy know that if he was looking for a commitment, I wasn’t going to be the girl for him. First off, I am a horrible liar, so being committed and cheating just wasn’t going to be the best move for me. Some accepted it, others thought that they could change my mind about wanting to be with them and them only……but let’s move along, LOL. More than anything, it amazes me at the amount of women that are completely okay and actually PREFER  to be a man’s side piece and they gloat about that shit too….GIRL WHY?!?
I believe in Karma, and when that bitch finds you, you will reap what you sow. At the mere age of 32, I definitely want to get married sooner that later, and I can only imagine how I would feel if I found out that my man/husband was cheating on me with a woman that KNEW we were together. Chiiiii….want to talk about an episode of Snapped, oh I’d have it for you. You are indirectly ruining somebody’s family. All for what, a quick nut and a couple of dollars? Hell most men can’t rationally afford to have a main household and spend on a second household….so what are you doing it for. Trust and believe, the same way you got him is the same way you’ll lose him. I mean honey, you are busting it open for some bundles and a sew-in! Don’t you think your lady purse is a little more valuable than what you display her to be?
And men, why is it necessary to make your spouse look like a fool in these streets?! Not only does she not know that she is being made a fool of, but you put all your boys in a hard spot when they know you doing F’d up stuff and then they’ve gotta smile in your girl’s face and act like ain’t nothing wrong. One thing I will always live by, if you’re my man and you fix your penis to poke another vagina, you better never bring the broad in my Queendom, and don’t make me look foolish in front of everyone else. If you going to be a hoe, be a respectable hoe!