People always tell say, “he/she’s and ex for a reason,” or “he/she’s in your past for a reason, so just leave them there…” but is that always necessarily true? Do you ever wonder what things may have been like if you had dated some of your exes at the stage you are in your life now; or are you completely sure that they are in your past for a reason? What if you had waited…..
The reason that this topic came about is that recently it seems like various people from my past are popping back up and they are coming at me full force. Meanwhile, I am just sitting here thinking to myself….BRUH!! This can’t be life. I mean just when I had come to terms that maybe being single is what I am meant to be, or I need to continue to work on myself, by myself….they come knocking on the door like, oh hell nah lil baby! We’re about to work on us! All I want to do is be great.
Funny thing is, I’m not the only person that this is happening to right now. Is it a Blast From the Past epidemic right now. But we are all asking ourselves the same questions, is it worth it now since it didn’t work in the past? I’m a firm believer that timing is everything….but to what extent should you reconsider a fling/ex from your past? I honestly believe that people do change over time. I can guarantee that I am not the same Tequila at 32 that I was as 22 or even 26, so I try to consider those things.
But the bigger question at hand for me is, what is your motive? What is your intent for me, you, us at this time? Are you coming back around because you’re bored? Are you back because you think you made a mistake and are ready to admit to the mistakes of the past? Or are you just simply looking for something to do for the time being? Why after 6+ years did you decide to reach out to “make things right” or “try us again”? Blast From the Past….what do you want from me? Why now?
…..is it even worth the effort? This is the only question lingering in my mind at this point. But I’ll allow you to show me who you are today, and show me if my past decisions were the right decision…or if today is another mistake waiting to happen!
Whether we see it or not, our lives are made up of relationships of many faces. We are involved in relationships with our spouses/significant others, friends, co-workers, family members, and even our enemies. But nonetheless, one thing remains consistent they all call for effort, nurturing, and most importantly COMMUNICATION.
Let’s just be honest for a second. How many times have we made a post on social media or sent a text message and the person on the receiving end completely missed the point of what we were intending it to mean or someone created their own assumption which had nothing to do with nothing and it became something much bigger than what we intended? Quite often right? LOL! It’s just proof that communication is key.
Communication comes in many forms. Verbal, written, physical, even unspoken. But equally important is tone. Knowing how to effectively communicate has been something that I have personally have not really struggled with, but have had to learn how to do better. I’ve learned that sometimes people tell you what’s going on with them or how they feel without actually TELLING you directly. But I have also learned that my reaction is also equally as important in the communication process.
I have lost many friendships due to communication problems, but have been able to fix and mend quite a few through the effort of communicating. So much can be lost and equally gained when we learn how to effectively speak to each other.
Promise to do better! Just a random thought for the day.
**DISCLAIMER: This point of view is coming from a person who does NOT have kids of her own. However, I’ve had a big help in my nephews!**
Okay, let’s cut straight to the point. I think a lot of parents are raising future hellraisers in society. I remember growing up, I wouldn’t dare fix my lips to talk back nor swear at my mother. I feared for losing my life if I was to raise my hand at my mother. Bringing home mediocre grades was completely unacceptable in Katrina’s household. And after all of that, thought I was going to still be rewarded! Haaaaa! WRONG!
To be honest, the woman is head of the household, and her kids are a strong reflection of who she is. If I was at school, the mall, the grocery store….wherever, if I showed my ass, my mom would do the same. Boy I swear, these days, these kids don’t know half the struggle! I hear about and see so many friends, family, and associates kids that are just outright disrespectful and the parents can’t…and in a lot of cases, don’t care enough to do anything about it. If I were these women, I’d be embarrassed. However, as I’ve said in the beginning, I’m also not a parent.
But here’s my thing, when was being one of Bebe’s Kids supposed to be rewarding? These kids don’t get punished anymore. Everyone is scared to go to jail for whooping ass…..don’t beat them, just instill some fear. Especially in prime ages of like 11-16. You still have a chance. So many parents are depending on technology and TV to raise their kids because many of us are too lazy to do constructive things with the kids to keep them on the straight and narrow.
All I want to know is where did being your child’s friend vs parent become okay?! As adults, we’re buying kids respect and bribing them to act accordingly in public settings….WTF?! What are your thoughts on this?!